2010 Benelux - Germany

Germans are very similiar to Americans. Germans have nationalistic people, and they usually inhabit rural areas as we have. Talking to different Germans here, I have heard anything from proud germans to nazi like tendancies used to describe these individuals. I can draw many similarities to American "rednecks" but I doubt I have too. However imagining someone like this sets the stage to one of the weirdest experiences we have had yet.

We decided to visit a castle called Burg Maus (literally mouse castle) during our stay in Sankt Goar. There is a Burg Katz and a Burg Maus castle (how cute eh?). So when we headed to Burg Maus I figured it would be geared a little more for children. Boy was I dead wrong. I should have figured it out when we approached the gate and a german lady translated for us what a little sign on the castle said.

"It says they will be back soon"

"Oh ok thank you, are you all going to the falconry show as well?"

"Oh no we have already experienced that" then a long pause. "But maybe youll like it."

I should have read between the lines but I chalked it up to the language barrier.

Anyways we get inside and we are about 1/2 hr early for the falconry show and we are invited to wander through pictures of the falcons kills hanging in the refreshment room. It's like a hall of slaughter, everything from rabbits to rather large deer these falcons are proudly posing over, with the falconers hand outstretched for them to perch apon. Strew across the table are hunting magazines with more of the same. SOrta like bassmasters meets deer hunter, but with birds in every shot. I am sure if I looked hard enough I would have found a bird therein that had brought down an elephant.

The falconer shows up and asks us in German what would we like to drink. We of course say "Spracense ze English" or Do you speak English. He snaps back NO, and only German is spoken here. Oh boy..

So we wait around until its time to start the show. There are probably 8 people or so to see it. He announces the show is ready to begin (in German of course) and we all file into this theater like area ontop of a huge cliff. Infront of us are 2 falcons and a buzzard, a huge bird that looks like it could rip our faces off.

A hippieish lady sits next to us and she notices we are english speakers. She sees he is speaking only in German and asks us if we would like her to translate, which we of course say thank you too. The falconer goes into something and she turns to us and says "actually I cant translate this, these are ideas that are kind of not right." Naturally I am confused until the falconer bends over and makes this weird bird noise. This gets the buzzard jumping onto his back trying to have sex with him. The lady next to us turns and says "he has asked the bird to have sex with him" Yeah....

We watched this show for about 10 minutes and he takes out a dead chicken and shows us he friend "Norman", another buzzard he has brought out of the back. This thing is massive. And it does not want to be attached to this guys hand. Its screetching and squacking flying all over the place. He is holding onto it, as it almost pulls him off the cliff. Finally he lets it go and starts screaming "NORMAN, NORMAN, HEEEEYAAHHHHHH" I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

The bird is flying up and up, catching currents like normal buzzards. The whole while this guy is yelling (he is on a PA now) to Norman. It was so damn funny. Norman climbs and climbs, and after about 10 mins he decides he is going to come down. And this bird just tucked and dives right at us. He comes in a probably 150 mph and at the last minute grabs this chicken from the falconers hand, lands on the cliff, and gives out this huge screetching sound as he gulps down the chicken part.

There are a few kids there that are now scared shitless. I mean seriously scared. Hell I was too. This crazy guy has 4 or 5 weapons flying around eating raw chicken right infront of our faces. All I could do is laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

So the show goes on and we wound up making friends with the lady next to us. Mainly because we were laughing about the freakshow occuring infront of us. They brought out a baby bird that was only a few days old, and seperatly a owl that they have had since it was a baby. The whole time scaring the shit out of anyone, especially the kids around us. I think most of them left in tears...

I will never forget Norman, and everytime we have seen some huge buzzard we start yelling NORMaN, NORMAN, HEYYAHHHHHH. Hey you never know...

I had to pay to take pics at allowed times, no thanks, but here is the castle.

Burg Maus

After Luxembourg we rolled into our first city in Germany, Trier. This little city actually contains some incredible Roman ruins (yep they made it all the way up here), and for a time period was major seat of Rome. The basilica located downtown was the throne room to one of the Roman Emporers, maybe Constantine but I can not remember his name. Among other ruins are an semi restored Arena you can go and walk around in, Roman bathhouses and one of the best ruins the city has to offer, the Porta Negra (black gate). The porta negra is right downtown towering over the populace as they shuffle along to work. One of the most interesting things I have found walking around Europe is the proximity to everyday life ancient ruins still are. City's here are just built on old cities and the ruins and monuments are part of everyday life.

After Trier we headed off to to the Mosell Valley, a picturesque area of Germany on the Mosell River. They definetly know how to grow Reisling! And to make sure we experienced all that we could, we sampled as many different winemakers as would allow.

Cochem was our first stop on the Mosell. It was a beutiful old city complete with a castle overlooking the town. We even ate at a restuarant that has been in operation since the 14th century. It probably was the oldest bar/restaurant we have ever been to.

I should probably also explain that along the way we have been booking rooms either via Kayak.com or worldmate live (a blackberry app). Most of the time we have stayed at places called "pensions", which is exactly like a bed and breakfast. Old people retire and run these little places and they usually are the best bet for the money. They are priced per person, so for both of us we usually pay about 60 euros, which including a nice breakfast isn't a bad price at all. Ibus the european Motel 6 (owned by same company Accor too), usually runs about this price or even a little more. Smaller rooms, crappier beds, And no breakfast!

So in Cochem we walked to our pension and rang the bell. As usual a little old man comes down and we tell him we have booked a room there. He is incredibly nice and starts to show us to our room. He then turns to us and asks us where we are from. I say, like usual, we live in Seattle it is above California. He responds to us that he was in America once, as a POW. I started thinking hmm wait WHAT!!! He told us he was captured in Italy in '45 and was sent to America for 2 years somewhere in NY. He then said he was transfered to Britan where he was held for 2 more years and then took back to Germany.

Yep, an real life Nazi! I was amazed to say the least. We had breakfast with him the next day but I never did get much more information from him about the war or anything, but then I realized most older people here were most definetly in the Reich. And they had no choice, the ones who weren't are dead.

After Cochem we attempted to walk to Beilstein. We unfortunatly asked a tourist information booth as to the bes way to walk there. She wound up telling us to take a trail through the vineyards that was really a death march. It was high up and most of the trail wound through steep rocky cliff faces they grew wine on. We wound up turning around and just grabbing a bus.

Beilstein is a tiny town on the Mosel that wasn't connected by roads until the early 1900's. It's pristine and beutiful, and of course Rick Steves has been and wrote about it, and it is a perfect example of what I call the "Steve's Effect". Beilstein before Rick had several pensions run by several families. I am sure this made for a very pleasant stay. Rick then came into the town, stayed at a pension run by the Lippmann family, and wrote about it in his book. The flood of tourists after that who "wanted the Rick Steves experience" only stayed at the Lippmann's pension. The Lippmanns profited hugely from this, and now own almost all the Pensions in town. Plus a hotel. And a ton of restaurants.

Now you might think, hey who cares they are successfull. Well we then got to enjoy how successful the Lippmans had become. We ate at there restaurant (you don't have much of a choice), and the Lippman family was eating there too. Every server was helping them, and of course paid no attention to us. The food was bland and unexciting. The Lippmans were loud and rude, laughing and running the waitress back and forth. And why would they care? They were like the Boss Hogg of Beilstein.

Luckily we stayed at one of the few non-Lippmann pensions (the Lippmans charged almost double for the "Rick Experience". I could only feel sorry for our pension, they worked hard and did a great affordable job, but didn't have the free international advertising the Lippmans so undeservably had gotten. And for that I am sure they won't be around much longer..

Anyways outside of the annoying Lippman family, the city was wonderful. We walked up to there local church and enjoyed one of the best views I can remember of the Mosel.



A ton more has happened in Germany, and I will write about it soon! Aufeitesein!

My 4th micronation, in no means the smallest but certainly rivals in awesomeness. Every micronation seems to have one big draw to it. Monoco doesn't recognize worldwide income from sports or tv as a 'job' therefore making income exempt from taxation. Liechtenstein corporate tax rate is very low. Luxembourg seems to have some banking loopholes making commodity funds (and maybe others) very attractive places to be formed. The Vaticans age of consent is 12 and you see who that has attracted...

But the coolest thing in Luxembourg was the fact it was built on a huge hill that over time they formed massive tunnel systems under. You can still visit today and its a perfect thing to do with kids (or adults who want to act like kids). Hours of exploring mine shafts and tunnels, artillary rooms, and even the occasional dungeon are all easily walked to from the main palace. Cool stuff!

Luxembourg is the only remaining Grand Dutchy State with the current duke a direct decendant of the duke from 890. So the duke has a palace downtown and since its a tiny nation they have 1 marching guard. Monaco and even the Vatican have more than 1 guard! But Luxembourg apparently has nothing to worry about, and therfore 1 guard will do...

Also I found probably the last Chi-Chi's left in existance, and we ate there. It was as bad as I always remembered...

Aufedersein Luxembourg... Guten Tag Deutchland!

Leaving Amsterdam for Beer Country

After a month of Amsterdam I am positive there was no street we left unturned. We had seen everything we had come to see, except maybe the purse museum, and well you know gotta save something for never.

Our trip out was pretty strange. The mysterious volcano in Iceland had happened the night before and when we arrived at the train station we found HUGE lines everywhere. Luckily we were only going to the next country over, Belgium, so other than a packed intercity train we didn't have any issues with the trip. I can even say I earned by international "wings" on this trip. Belgium has tolerance laws as well.

We hit Antwerp first and stayed at an Ibis hotel. It is an Accor company (same company that owns Motel 6) and it is run pretty similiar. Let me warn you if you are tall or a little overweight, this room will not work for you. The room was the smallest room I have ever seen, but worked and was comfy. Best part was it cost about 59 Euros that night.

Antwerp was a bit more industrial than we had realized, but the trip was still worth it. We visited the famous painter Ruben's house and studio.  We also enjoyed a the cathederals, one of wich housed Ruben's masterpeice the accension of Christ. Really quite spectacular to see in person, even if the religious meaning is lost on me.

The next day found us heading off to Brussels, the capital of Belgium. We scored an even cheaper than above room at the Sheraton for about 65 USD a night. Not bad at all for a 4 star hotel. Though it wasn't immedialy downtown we walk everwhere so its proximity wasn't an issue.

We visited the last Lambic brewer left in Brussels and one of the last left in all of Belgium, Cantillion. Lambic brewers are kind of like the vegans of vegatarianism. The most interesting of there craft is the beer they make using spontaneous fermentation. This involves making the wort (grain hop mix) and then letting it cool in the roof of the brewery while it accumulates yeast & bacteria from the air. This is only possible in Belgium, in a certain valley Senne and in Brussels, as they are where the bacteria they are looking for live. Anywhere else and it's just not the same.

The beer itelf is a bit sour. Without flavoring it's called a guaze(sp). The fun comes in when they add organic fruit into the beer during it's fermentation stage, resulting in all sorts of really great tasting beers. Mango, Coconut, Banana, Rasberry, Cherry.. to name a few. As you can guess they were K's favorite!

Belgium not only takes my vote for Disneyland for beer, but I think more importantly to them they rule the land of chocolate. Godiva being from here should tell you something. Every single coner had a amazing chocolater on it. We wound up spending so much time eating chocolates that we forgot to eat dinner! A burger at the hotel had to suffice (for like 25 bux, damn pricey burger!). Sheraton gets me again.

Our next stop found us hoping over to Brugges, which we both agreed was one of the coolest towns yet. While Brussels had several fine examples of Gothic architecture Brugges was an actual gothic town. If you check out our picture section you'll see a few shots from there. We walked everywhere we could and took as many cool pics as possible. Most houses were buit in the 1400-1500's, which made for some really awesome scenes. I really liked the work we did below and do confess the nights drinking might have helped some.

In Brugges I was also able to score another personal goal, finish tasting every Trappist ale. There are only 7 Trappist ales left in the world, and while most are available in the US, several are not, and 1 is very rare. Trappist ales are still brewed by monks, with the brewmaster being a monk and every function of brewing to sales is still done by a monk. An interesting quote from one of the trappist monks "We brew beer to be monks, not the other way around"

Unfortunatly you can not visit the trappist's monestaries (there are 6 in Belgium, one in Holland), however you can find there beer all over. There is one ale that is brewed in very limited quantities and is almost  never sold commercially. To get it, you usually have to call ahead and reserve a case or 2 (they don't sell more than that to 1 person). They also take your license plate to make sure you aren't a commercial seller. These guys are serious about there beer!

In Brugges this is a really awesome restaurant called Cambrinus that is one of the only places that are allowed to sell Westvleteren. The brown is seriously amazing and defintly hit to the top of my list of brown ales.

Off to the micronation of Luxumbourg and then Germany.

The dutch didn't invent pancakes, but they certainly perfected them. Pancakes are an anytime meal with almost anything on them. And as with any nearly national food everyone serves them and most places aren't spectacular. Its like going to Times Square for a slice of pie and winding up at sbarro's.

After roaming around and trying a few bombs, we finally found Amsterdam's equivalent of the soup nazi Pannekoekenhuis "upstairs". Its only open the weirdest hours up the most uninviting alley shop.

Stairway to heaven or buffalo bills?
























Gouda and tomato pancake. Amazing... then you add the syrup to send it over the top

Its really a seperate room to the guys house and like every misunderstood genius he seems to be a bit of a recluse. But for a few hours every few days he makes a living cooking these incredible things.  Most importantly they are crispy in the middle, a real rare feat for the pancake housens around. Mush centers are the norm and not good.

Broodje Haring



I don't know what to say about this. Raw herring on a bun with pickles and onions. I mean, who the hell just got so lazy they slapped raw fish on a bun and ate it.

Here is our reactions:





Yeah...

Anoher cool thing we did was went out to Kinderdijk and checked out the windmills there. I shot a little video of them, they were in full force. Sort of randomly we also wandered into Delfthaven near Den Hague that day, and it turns out we are in the harbor the pilgrims left from. TBH it was sorta run down, and we would have never known had we not read some rusted out sign.

It has been sunny finally! Posted a few new pic, more to come:

Amsterdam Photo Album

A few days back we headed off to Abraxas, this chilled out shop around the middle of Amsterdam Central, with intentions of trying some space cake. After some asking around it turns out the recent closure and raids of shops had all but banned sales of space cake in Amsterdam. The reasoning was tourists were eating too much because of the delayed effects. After that they would freak out and go to the hospital leaving bills unpaid and the dutch unhappy. So spacecake has gone underground!

Abraxas pointed us to a good location so we went and grabbed a brownie and a muffin. All over the package were warnings about waiting for 2 hours before eating anymore, and that its effects vary. So this actually came with a warning sticker... sort of like a pack of cigarettes. We headed back to where we are staying and ate our tasty new treats with some milk and waited, and waited...

Now at home I use a little "vapapoo" cooked into butter thats really good. It seems the amount left inside the f iberous material are all easily leeched by butter and a slow simmer for up to 24 hours. The taste isn't very good, but these weren't very tasty either. Unfortunately the muffins and brownie just didn't do much at all. We chilled out for a bit and wound up heading out that evening feeling fine. So much for spacecake freaking us out..

Of course besides all the coffee shops, we found this excellent deal for museums. There is a Iamsterdam company that you can buy a card from. pay more and get less. But the State also has a card that works all over Nederlands. Some serious places like Anne Franks house (its pretty intense), to art museums with works from Chagall, Renoir, Rembrandt, as well as all the Dutch masters. They even have right around us these older homes open, and when I mean older I mean 1600's old. You can see how short people were then in the bed boxes and door frames.

More about the redlight district later!